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Everyday life

Consent

Consent is for everyone. Anyone can misread a moment, and anyone can have their own boundary ignored. These scenarios put you on both sides.

Some scenarios are about dating, sex and alcohol. Nothing is described in detail. Written for adults.

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Everyday touch

Hugs, play, offering help and children. 4 scenarios

  1. The hug helloTouch
  2. Only messing aboutPlay and "stop"
  3. A helping handHelp and touch
  4. Give your uncle a hugChildren and affection

Privacy, photos and messages

What is yours to see, share or send. 4 scenarios

  1. The group photoPhotos and sharing
  2. Told in confidencePrivate information
  3. The unlocked phonePrivacy
  4. The group chatIntimate images

Texting and crushes

Asking, waiting, mixed signals and friends for now. 9 scenarios

  1. Left on readWaiting for a reply
  2. The reply you did not wantTaking a no
  3. Turning him downGiving a no
  4. Friends for nowMixed signals
  5. Goodnight xYour own boundaries
  6. The screenshotPrivate messages
  7. Maybe another timeAsking for photos
  8. The 1am textAlcohol and messages
  9. The photo nobody asked forMessages and images

Pressure and power

When saying no is made hard. 3 scenarios

  1. The dareGroup pressure
  2. Not tonightPressure
  3. A drink with the bossPower

Parties, clubs and nights out

Dancing, drinks, crowds, sleepovers and looking out for people. 10 scenarios

  1. On the dance floorClubs and dancing
  2. You bought the drinkBars and expectations
  3. Down itDrinking pressure
  4. Make it a doubleDrinks and spiking
  5. The work doSocial events
  6. Your mateCalling out a friend
  7. Someone else walks inMore people, new question
  8. Staying overSleepovers
  9. Last one standingAlcohol and capacity
  10. Heading for the spare roomLooking out for others

Sex and intimacy

Checking in, sleep, conditions and changing your mind. 4 scenarios

  1. Gone quietChecking in
  2. Still asleepSleep
  3. You changed your mindYour own boundaries
  4. What you agreedConditions

The ideas behind these

  • Consent is a free choice. A yes given under pressure, fear or obligation is not one.
  • It is specific. Yes to one thing, one time, with one person is not yes to anything else.
  • It can be taken back at any point, with or without words.
  • The person has to be able to choose. Very drunk, asleep or afraid is not able.
  • If you are not sure, ask. Asking is not awkward. Guessing wrong is.
If this brings something up for you

You can stop at any time. These UK services are free and confidential. In an emergency, call 999.

  • Rape Crisis England & WalesFree 24/7 support line and online chat for anyone aged 16 or over.
  • SurvivorsUKFor men, boys and non-binary people who have experienced sexual violence.
  • GalopFor LGBT+ people who have experienced abuse or violence.
  • Revenge Porn HelplineFor adults whose intimate images have been shared, or threatened to be.
  • SamaritansSomeone to talk to, day or night, about anything.

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