Consent. Scenario 15 of 34. Asking for photos

Maybe another time

You and Sophie have been texting for a few weeks, and it has turned flirty. Tonight you ask: "Send me a pic?"

She replies: "Haha, maybe another time."

What is the best call?

Reply, "Go on, just one. I won't show anyone."

Not the best call

"Maybe another time" is a polite no for tonight. Asking again makes her repeat it less politely or give in. A photo sent to stop the asking is not one she wanted to send.

Send her a photo of yourself first, so it feels fair for her to send one back.

Not the best call

This turns your request into a debt. Sophie did not ask for a photo, and now she may feel she owes you one. Consent that comes from feeling obliged is not freely given.

Reply, "No worries" and carry on with the chat.

Good call

You asked, she answered, and you took it lightly. That is all it needed. If she wants to send one another day, she will, and she will know it was her own idea.

Reply "OK" and stop messaging for the night.

Could be better

You did not push, which is right. But going cold straight after a no can feel like a punishment, and she may think she has upset you. Staying warm shows the no cost her nothing.

The principle

A soft no is still a no. "Maybe later", "haha" and a change of subject all mean not now. Ask once, and let the next move be theirs.

If this brings something up for you

You can stop at any time. These UK services are free and confidential. In an emergency, call 999.

Rape Crisis England & WalesFree 24/7 support line and online chat for anyone aged 16 or over.
SurvivorsUKFor men, boys and non-binary people who have experienced sexual violence.
GalopFor LGBT+ people who have experienced abuse or violence.
Revenge Porn HelplineFor adults whose intimate images have been shared, or threatened to be.
SamaritansSomeone to talk to, day or night, about anything.