Consent. Scenario 12 of 34. Mixed signals

Friends for now

A month ago you told Liam how you felt. He said: "I like you, but I just want to be friends for now." You agreed, and you still text most days.

Tonight the chat is warm and jokey, and it is getting late. You want to send something flirty, like "Wish you were here."

What is the best call?

Send the flirty message and see how he reacts.

Not the best call

Liam told you where he stands. A flirty message tests whether he meant it, and leaves him to either play along or turn you down a second time. A warm chat between friends is not a change of mind.

Keep it friendly tonight. If you need to know, ask him plainly another day whether anything has changed.

Good call

You have respected what he said and left room for an honest update. One open question, such as "Are you still happy with just friends? Either answer is fine", lets him tell you without being put on the spot.

Reply, "You'll change your mind about me eventually."

Not the best call

Said as a joke, it still tells Liam you are waiting for him to give in. "Friends for now" was not a promise about later. He may start to pull back from the friendship to avoid leading you on.

Stay friendly, say nothing, and keep hoping he comes round.

Could be better

You are not crossing his line, and that matters. But be honest with yourself. If you are only friends with him in the hope of more, it will wear you down, and it is not quite the friendship he agreed to.

The principle

"Friends for now" means friends. Take people at their word, and if you want to know whether something has changed, ask once, openly, with room for either answer.

If this brings something up for you

You can stop at any time. These UK services are free and confidential. In an emergency, call 999.

Rape Crisis England & WalesFree 24/7 support line and online chat for anyone aged 16 or over.
SurvivorsUKFor men, boys and non-binary people who have experienced sexual violence.
GalopFor LGBT+ people who have experienced abuse or violence.
Revenge Porn HelplineFor adults whose intimate images have been shared, or threatened to be.
SamaritansSomeone to talk to, day or night, about anything.