Consent. Scenario 23 of 34. Drinking pressure

Down it

You are at a house party, in the middle of a drinking game. Hari has already said twice that he has had enough and has work in the morning.

He loses the next round. Someone pours him a large shot, and the room starts chanting: "Down it! Down it!"

What is the best call?

Join in the chant. It is his turn, and those are the rules.

Not the best call

Hari has said no twice. The rules of a game do not outrank that. A room full of people chanting is very hard to refuse, and what goes into someone's body is their decision, not the group's.

Say, "He said he's done. I'll take it," or "Skip him, next round."

Good call

You have backed up his no without making him argue for it, and the game carries on. It usually only takes one person to say it. Most of the room will follow, and Hari will remember who did.

Stay quiet and do not chant.

Could be better

You are not adding to the pressure, which counts for something. But a chant does not stop on its own, and Hari is one person against a room. He needs somebody to say it out loud.

Quietly swap his shot for water so he can pretend.

Could be better

Kind, and it gets him out of this round. But it leaves the idea standing that he has to drink when the room says so, and he will face the same thing next round. Backing his no openly settles it.

The principle

Consent covers what people drink as well. "I've had enough" is a no. Pressure from a group is still pressure, and one voice is often enough to stop it.

If this brings something up for you

You can stop at any time. These UK services are free and confidential. In an emergency, call 999.

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