Consent. Scenario 30 of 34. Looking out for others

Heading for the spare room

It is 2am at a house party, and several people are staying over. You see Callum, someone you know a little, with his arm around a woman who can barely stand. Her eyes keep closing.

He is walking her towards the spare room. You do not know her, and you cannot see her friends.

What is the best call?

Stay out of it. They might be a couple, and it is not your business.

Not the best call

They might be. But she cannot look after herself right now, and nobody else is watching. If you are wrong, a check costs one awkward moment. If you are right and do nothing, the cost to her is far higher.

Go over and speak to her. "Hey, are you OK? Let's find your friends." Then get the host or her friends involved.

Good call

You have interrupted without accusing anyone. If Callum is only helping, he will be glad of a hand. You have also made sure people who know her are with her, which is what she needs most.

Tell the host what you saw and leave it with them.

Could be better

Getting someone else involved is good, and a fine choice if you do not feel safe stepping in. But it takes time, and by then the door may be shut. If you can, interrupt first and fetch the host second.

Grab Callum and loudly accuse him in front of everyone.

Not the best call

You may be right to worry, but you do not know what is happening yet. A confrontation can turn into a fight, and she ends up forgotten in the middle of it. Her safety comes first. Blame can wait.

The principle

Someone who can barely stand cannot consent, and cannot look after themselves. You do not need to be sure something is wrong to check in. Interrupt, ask them directly, and find their people.

If this brings something up for you

You can stop at any time. These UK services are free and confidential. In an emergency, call 999.

Rape Crisis England & WalesFree 24/7 support line and online chat for anyone aged 16 or over.
SurvivorsUKFor men, boys and non-binary people who have experienced sexual violence.
GalopFor LGBT+ people who have experienced abuse or violence.
Revenge Porn HelplineFor adults whose intimate images have been shared, or threatened to be.
SamaritansSomeone to talk to, day or night, about anything.