Consent. Scenario 29 of 34. Alcohol and capacity

Last one standing

At a house party you have been getting on well with Alex all night. The flirting has gone both ways.

By midnight Alex is slurring, unsteady on their feet and losing track of the conversation. Alex leans on you and says: "Let's go upstairs."

What is the best call?

Go upstairs. Alex was the one who suggested it.

Not the best call

The words sound like a yes, but someone this drunk cannot weigh up a decision, so you cannot rely on them. In the law of England and Wales, consent needs the capacity to choose. Who suggested it does not change that.

Go upstairs, but decide you will only kiss.

Not the best call

The problem is not how far things go. Alex is not able to choose any of it right now. Being alone with you also takes Alex away from the people who would look out for them.

Say "Not tonight, but I'd love your number." Then help Alex find their friends or get home safely.

Good call

You have kept the connection without taking advantage of the moment. If the interest is real it will still be there tomorrow, when Alex can actually choose. And Alex ends the night safe.

Leave Alex on the sofa and head home.

Could be better

You have made sure no harm comes from you, and that matters. But Alex is vulnerable and you were the person with them. Telling the host or their friends before you go takes one minute.

The principle

Someone has to be able to choose before their yes counts. If they are too drunk to make a decision, wait. Being drunk yourself does not remove your responsibility for what you do.

If this brings something up for you

You can stop at any time. These UK services are free and confidential. In an emergency, call 999.

Rape Crisis England & WalesFree 24/7 support line and online chat for anyone aged 16 or over.
SurvivorsUKFor men, boys and non-binary people who have experienced sexual violence.
GalopFor LGBT+ people who have experienced abuse or violence.
Revenge Porn HelplineFor adults whose intimate images have been shared, or threatened to be.
SamaritansSomeone to talk to, day or night, about anything.