Porn and real life. Scenario 5 of 15. Nudes at school

The picture going round

Your son Dylan is fifteen. He comes to you looking uneasy and shows you his phone. A nude photo of a girl in his year is being passed around group chats. Someone sent it to him an hour ago.

"Everyone's got it," he says. "I didn't ask for it."

What is the best call?

Tell him to delete it and forget about it. It is not his problem.

Could be better

Deleting it is right, and he should not keep it. But the photo is still spreading, and a girl his age is being badly hurt by it. Dylan came to you because it felt wrong. Help him do something about it.

Ask him to forward it to you so you can show the school.

Not the best call

A sexual image of anyone under 18 is illegal to share, whatever the reason, and forwarding it makes another copy. The school does not need to see it. They need to know that it exists and who is passing it on.

Thank him for telling you. Make sure he does not forward or screenshot it, tell the school's safeguarding lead, then have him delete it.

Good call

He did the right thing, and he needs to hear that. Schools have a named person for exactly this. The girl can also use Report Remove, a Childline and Internet Watch Foundation tool that gets nude images of under-18s taken down.

Take his phone away for being in a chat like that.

Not the best call

He did not ask for the picture, and he brought it to you. Punishing him teaches him, and his friends, to keep quiet next time. That is how these images keep circulating.

The principle

A nude of someone under 18 must never be forwarded, even to report it. Tell the school, do not pass it on, and praise the child who spoke up.

Where to get help and advice

These UK services are free to use. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.

ChildlineFor anyone under 19, about anything, including things they have seen online.
NSPCCAdvice for parents and carers on talking to children about porn and online safety.
Internet MattersStep-by-step guides to parental controls on phones, consoles and broadband.
BrookHonest information about sex and relationships for young people.
Internet Watch FoundationReport sexual images or videos of anyone under 18. You can do it anonymously.
Revenge Porn HelplineFor adults whose intimate images have been shared, or threatened to be.
RelateRelationship and sex therapy, including when porn is causing problems.
Stop It NowConfidential, anonymous help if you are worried about what you are looking at online.