Racism. Scenario 14 of 14. Names

We'll just call you Nikki

A new colleague joins your team and introduces herself as Nkechi. You are not sure you caught it. Another colleague laughs and says, "That's a mouthful. We'll just call you Nikki."

Nkechi smiles politely and does not answer.

What is the best call?

Call her Nikki. She did not object, and it is easier for everyone.

Not the best call

On her first day, with a room laughing, she was never going to object. Renaming someone because their name is unfamiliar tells them that fitting in means being less themselves. A polite smile is not agreement.

Say, "Sorry, could you say it again? I want to get it right." Then use her name, and keep using it.

Good call

Asking again is not rude. It shows you think her name is worth learning. It takes a minute of effort and tells her, in front of the team, that she does not have to shrink to be here.

Avoid using her name at all, in case you get it wrong.

Could be better

You are trying not to offend, which is a kind impulse. But she will notice that she is the only one never called by name. Getting it slightly wrong while trying is far better than avoiding her.

Ask her privately later, "Do you have an English name we could use?"

Not the best call

It is more polite than announcing a nickname, but it asks for the same thing: that she change, so that you do not have to learn. If she prefers a short form, she will offer it herself.

The principle

A person's name is theirs. Ask how to say it, practise until you can, and use it. If they would rather be called something shorter, that is for them to offer.

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