Administrator. Scenario 10 of 13. Taking criticism

The feedback you did not expect

In your one-to-one, your manager says: "Your work is accurate, which is great. But a couple of people have said your emails come across as abrupt. Can you have a think about that?"

You are surprised. You thought you were being clear and efficient, and you feel stung.

What is the best call?

Explain that you are just being efficient, and that the others are being oversensitive.

Not the best call

You may have a point about efficiency. But defending yourself first tells your manager that feedback is hard to give you, so next time they may not bother. That leaves you to find things out the hard way.

Say, "Thank you for telling me. Could you show me an example, so I can see what to change?"

Good call

"Abrupt" is vague, and you cannot fix what you cannot see. Asking for an example turns a feeling into something practical, such as adding a greeting. It also shows you can hear criticism without it becoming a row.

Say "OK" and nothing else, then worry about it all week.

Could be better

You have not argued, which helps. But you still do not know what to change, so nothing improves and the worry grows. It is fine to say, "Can I think about it and come back with questions?"

Start adding long, friendly paragraphs to every email.

Could be better

You are trying to fix it, and that counts. But you are guessing at what the problem was, and you may swing too far the other way. Ask for an example first, and change only what needs changing.

The principle

Feedback that stings is still information. Thank the person, ask for a specific example, and decide what to change once you can see it. Asking for time to think is allowed.